【导语】“香香今晚不熬夜”通过精心收集，向本站投稿了12篇经典英语笑话，下面小编给大家整理后的经典英语笑话，希望大家喜欢！
- 目录
篇1：英语笑话
A bar owner locked up his place at 2 a. m. and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang.“ What time do you open up in the morning ?” he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire.
在凌晨两点，酒吧店主锁了店门，回家睡觉。他刚躺下几分钟，这时电话响了。“你早上几点营业?”他听到一位明显已醉醺醺的男子的声音。
The owner was so furious, he slammed down the receiver and went back to bed. A few minutes later there was another call and he heard the same voice ask the same question. “Listen,” the owner shouted ,“there's no sense in asking me what time I open because I wouldn't let a person in your condition in-”
店主非常气愤，砰地一声挂上电话又上床去睡。几分钟后又有一个电话，他听到还是那个声音问同样的问题。“听着，”店主嚷道，“不要问我什么时候营业，因为我不会让你这种人进----”
“I don't want to get in,” the caller interjected. “I want to get out“
我不是想进来，”那人打断他的话，“我要出去。”
【注释】
(1) obviously adv.明显的
(2) inebriated adj.酒醉的
(3) slam v.砰然放下
(4) interject v.突然插话
篇2：经典英语笑话
英语笑话：俺还未偷汉子
同学是某偏远地区的，英语发音一直不标准，老师英文也是发不准，所以学生更是一口地道的土腔英语。
话说同学的妹妹刚上初一，学英语的积极性狂高，每天早晨天不亮就开始朗读单词，这天像往常一样，继续拼命的读，他爹就蹲在窗户底下抽烟袋。小妹妹念“hands(音:汉子),hands”，“two hands(偷汉子)。他爹听完就止不住的皱眉，一大早就听见闺女要偷汉子，心想怪不得听说外国人开放， 书上都这么写。小妹妹继续读“hands，hands，two hands(偷汉子)”。
最后一句，差点没把老汉气歪过去，小妹妹高声朗读“俺还未偷汉子”(i have two hands)。
英语笑话：孩子的命名学
有一天,一个印地安小孩问他爸爸说:”dad,我的名字怎么来的?“父亲
回答说:”我们族人命名都是以小孩子刚出生时,父亲看到的第一见事物来命名的“像你哥哥,他刚出生时,我一出门就见到了青山,所以他叫Blue-mountain像你姊姊,她刚出生时,我一出门就见到鸟在飞,所以他叫Bird-flying.这就是我们族人命名的方式.
父亲顿了一下,然後回过头说:”对了,Dog-__ng,你刚刚问我什么问题?“
英语笑话：These Are My Jeans
After going on a diet，a woman felt really good about herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago.
“Look，look.” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband.“I can wear my old jeans again.”
Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans.”
那是我的裤子!
一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时。她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的裤子了。”她丈夫看了她好一会儿，然后说：“亲爱的，我爱你。但那是我的裤子。”
英语笑话：All I do is pay
”My family is just like a nation,“ Mr. Brown told his colleague. ”My wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary.“
”Sounds interesting, “ his colleague replied. ”And what is your position?“
”I'm the people. All I do is pay.“
我要做的一切就是付钱
布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。我妻子
是财政部长。我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。”
“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢?”
“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付钱。”
篇3：英语笑话
To prevent our dog, Lacy, from pestering visitors to our house, my mother often massaged her as she lounged beneath the kitchen table, her favorite resting spot. One day a contractor came over to talk about a home-improvement project.
为避免我们的狗，莱希，纠缠来访的客人，我母亲常在爱犬喜欢呆的地方，即餐桌下面，摩昵它。一天，一个建筑商来谈居室装潢工程。
As he and my mother sat across the table discussing the renovations, my mother slipped off her shoes and mindlessly soothed Lacy with her feet.
在这人和我母亲坐在餐桌边谈居室的修茸时，我母亲滑脱了她的鞋子，开始不经意地用脚摩蹭起莱希来。
My mother had been talking for about a half-hour when to her great embarrassment she heard Lacy bark outside the front door.
谈话进行了半个小时的时候，我母亲突然感到很不好意思起来，因为这时她听到了莱希在前门外的犬吠声。
【注释】
(1) prevent (from)v.避免;阻止
(2) pester v.使苦恼;困扰
(3) massage v.按摩;揉捏
(4) lounge v.懒洋洋地坐着或站着
(5) contractor n.承包商
(6) improvement n.改进;改善
(7) renovation n.修复;修理
(8) slip off滑脱;掉
(9) mindlessly adv.不注意地
篇4：英语笑话
父亲在哪
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
”Look,“ said the elder brother. ”How nice these paintings are!“
”Yes,“ said the younger, ”but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?“
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, ”Obviously he was painting the pictures.“兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀!”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”
哥哥想了一会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
两个猎人
Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing.
The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help.
The operator said calmly:”First, you should make sure that he is already dead.“
Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:”What should I do next?“
两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。
另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。
接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办?”
不是我的错
It's not my fault
Mother (reprimanding训斥，谴责 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.
Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.不是我的错
妈妈(正教训她的女儿)：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。
篇5：笑话英语作文
我教老师I Taught the Teacher
Mother asked her little boy:”Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?“
”Nothing, Mum, answered the son proundly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told her three.“
母亲问她年幼的儿子：“宝贝，今天老师教了你些什么?”
“儿子骄傲地说：什么都没教，妈妈。她反倒问我一加二等于几，我告诉她等于三。”
篇6：笑话英语作文
急诊Help! Doctor
”Help! Doctor! Please come quickly! My ten-year-old son has just swallowed a pen!“
”Ok, I'll be right there. I'll be there in 10 to 20 minutes.“
”Good, but...what am I supposed to do in the meantime?“
”Just use another pen!“
“医生，救命!请您快点儿到，我十岁的儿子刚刚吞掉了一支钢笔!”
“好，我十几分钟就到，”
“好的，那……这十几分钟我应该做什么呢?”
“换支笔用!”
篇7：笑话英语作文
谁在打架? Who was fighting?
Who was fighting?
谁在打架?
Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?
Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.
妈妈：弗雷迪，你的脸为什么那么红?
弗雷迪：我刚才在大街上跑，为的是阻止一次打架。
妈妈：你做的'对，谁和谁在打架。
雷迪：我和杰克·史密斯。
篇8：笑话英语作文
其实学英语也能闹出很多笑话，那些笑话想起来连肚皮dou要笑破了！不过，你可千万不要在吃饭的时候读，否则你的书就被喷得满页都是饭。
有一次，老师要求我们说出一些常见的动物。比如：猫呀、狗呀。突然，我想到了老鼠（mouse），举手站起来就说“mouth”，老师一听，笑了起来。有同学问：“老师您为什么笑啊？”老师说， 我把老鼠说成了嘴巴，我一听，满脸通红。同学们都笑了起来，谁让它们发音这么接近呢。
还有一次，老师让我们用英文说一句话：我有一些香蕉，妈妈有一个西瓜。有一个同学站起来说：“I have some bananas，my murder has a watermelon。”用中文翻译是：“我有一些香蕉，我谋杀（妈妈）有一个西瓜。先是班级全体沉默，接着便是一阵哄堂大笑。
我们学英语的过程中还有许多有趣的事情，也让我们对英语产生了浓厚的兴趣。
篇9：经典趣味英语笑话
太黑了，看不见
After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, ”Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?“ After a while, her son returned and said, ”Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all.“
晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。”
经典趣味英语笑话：One real man
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely(严格地，严厉地).
Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel(劝告，建议) to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.
It's good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell these chickenhearted(胆小的) dunces(傻瓜) why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.
Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.
一个真正的男子汉
古代有一个国王，他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样，受到老婆的管制。他把王国里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告说，哪个男人胆敢不说实话，就会受到严厉的惩罚。
然后，他叫所有听从妻子的命令和意见的男人都走向大厅的左侧。所有的男人都站到了左侧，只有一个小个子男人站到了右侧。
国王说：看到我们国家里还有一个真正的男子汉，真是令人高兴。告诉这些胆小的笨蛋，为什么在他们当中只有你一个人站在大厅的右侧。
陛下，那人尖声地回答：因为在我出门之前，我老婆告诉我不要扎堆。
经典趣味英语笑话：万能的圣诞老人并非啥都知道
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, ”And what would you like for Christmas?“
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: ”Didn't you get my E-mail?“
一个女孩爬到圣诞老人的膝盖上，圣诞老人例行公事的问：“今年圣诞节你想要什么呢?”
孩子瞪大眼睛惊讶的望着圣诞老人一分钟都没讲话，然后喘着气说到：“你没收到我的电子邮件吗?(我想要什么都写上面了，万能的圣诞老人咋能不知道捏)”
借公牛一用
Once upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didn't know any words.
One day, one of his friends wanted to borrow an ox from him, so he wrote a note and asked his servant to take it to this rich man.
After the servant gave the note to the rich man, he pretended to be reading it and after a while, he said, ”OK, I know. Go and tell your master, I'll go myself shortly.
从前，有个人很富有，但他不识字。
一天，他的一位朋友想向他借一头公牛，便写了个条，让仆人送到富人那里。 仆人把条子给了富人。富人便假装看了一会儿，然后说道：“好啦，我知道了。回去告诉你的主人，我马上自己过去。”
What Color什么颜色
An impoverished graduate student at Clemson University in South Carolina, I was excited when my father informed me that he had bought me a car. Hardly able to contain my enthusiasm, I asked Dad the typical questions: “What kind is it? Does it have a stick shift? Does it have a tape deck?”
“It's a 1982 Toyota,” he replied. “It's a four speed, and, yes, it has a tape deck . ” Pleased, I asked what color it was.
“Well, ” he said uncomfortably, “ which part?”
作为南卡罗莱那州克莱姆森大学的一个本科生，我囊中羞涩，当我父亲告诉我他为我买了辆车时，我甚是激动。我几乎控制不住我的热情，问了爸爸几个关键问题：“什么车?有没有手排挡?有没有磁带舱?”
“是1982年产丰田车，”他回答说，“四速，还有，是的，有磁带舱。”我甚是高兴，又问是什么颜色的。
“哦，”他很不舒服地说，“你指哪一部分?”
篇10：短一点经典英语笑话
A: I have the perfect1 son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever2 come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
A：我有一个很完美的儿子。
B：他抽烟吗?
A：不抽。
B：他喝威士忌酒吗?
A：不喝。
B：他会不会很晚回家?
A：不会。
B：我想你确实有一个完美儿子。那他多大了?
A：下个星期三就满6个月了。
篇11：短一点经典英语笑话
A friend was trying to encourage his elderly mother to enjoy the money, she had accumulated through frugal living. “Mother,” he said, “you have enough money to last you until you're a hundred.”
“And then what'll I do?” she replied.
一位朋友试图劝他的老妈妈要享用钱，她通过节俭的生活攒下了钱。“妈妈，”他说，“你有足够的钱能让你用到一百岁。”
“到了一百岁又该怎么办?”她回答。
篇12：短一点经典英语笑话
After two weeks of Air Force basic training. I called home. “You wouldn't believe how strict they are,” I complained. “They even give demerits for things like not hanging your towel straight or nottightening the cap of your toothpaste properly.”
“Well, dear,” my mom responded, “don't think of it as basic training. Think of it as Mother'srevenge.”
经过两个星期的空军基础训练，我给家里打电话，“你不相信他们的要求是多么的严格，”我抱怨道，“他们甚至对事情提出过分的要求，像毛巾挂得不直或牙膏盖没拧紧。”
“好，亲爱的，”妈妈回道，“不要那样看待基础训练，把它看作是妈妈的报复吧。”
1.经典短笑话
2.超级经典短笑话
3.经典的短笑话
4.经典英语笑话
5.英语经典笑话
6.经典英语笑话汇集
7.英语的经典小笑话
8.经典笑话短句
9.短小的经典笑话
10.有趣短的经典笑话
★ 经典趣味英语笑话
★ 笑话！
★ 笑话大王
★ 经典哲理笑话精选
★ 成人版笑话
★ 顺口溜笑话
★ 脑筋急转弯笑话
★ 急转弯笑话
★ 爆笑经典小笑话
经典英语笑话（共12篇）
