“某可爱呀”通过精心收集，向本站投稿了5篇经典趣味英语笑话，小编在这里给大家带来经典趣味英语笑话，希望大家喜欢!
篇1：经典趣味英语笑话
太黑了，看不见
After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, “Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?” After a while, her son returned and said, “Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all.”
晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。”
经典趣味英语笑话：One real man
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely(严格地，严厉地).
Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel(劝告，建议) to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.
It's good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell these chickenhearted(胆小的) dunces(傻瓜) why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.
Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.
一个真正的男子汉
古代有一个国王，他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样，受到老婆的管制。他把王国里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告说，哪个男人胆敢不说实话，就会受到严厉的惩罚。
然后，他叫所有听从妻子的命令和意见的男人都走向大厅的左侧。所有的男人都站到了左侧，只有一个小个子男人站到了右侧。
国王说：看到我们国家里还有一个真正的男子汉，真是令人高兴。告诉这些胆小的笨蛋，为什么在他们当中只有你一个人站在大厅的右侧。
陛下，那人尖声地回答：因为在我出门之前，我老婆告诉我不要扎堆。
经典趣味英语笑话：万能的圣诞老人并非啥都知道
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?”
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: “Didn't you get my E-mail?”
一个女孩爬到圣诞老人的膝盖上，圣诞老人例行公事的问：“今年圣诞节你想要什么呢?”
孩子瞪大眼睛惊讶的望着圣诞老人一分钟都没讲话，然后喘着气说到：“你没收到我的电子邮件吗?(我想要什么都写上面了，万能的圣诞老人咋能不知道捏)”
借公牛一用
Once upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didn't know any words.
One day, one of his friends wanted to borrow an ox from him, so he wrote a note and asked his servant to take it to this rich man.
After the servant gave the note to the rich man, he pretended to be reading it and after a while, he said, “OK, I know. Go and tell your master, I'll go myself shortly.
从前，有个人很富有，但他不识字。
一天，他的一位朋友想向他借一头公牛，便写了个条，让仆人送到富人那里。 仆人把条子给了富人。富人便假装看了一会儿，然后说道：“好啦，我知道了。回去告诉你的主人，我马上自己过去。”
What Color什么颜色
An impoverished graduate student at Clemson University in South Carolina, I was excited when my father informed me that he had bought me a car. Hardly able to contain my enthusiasm, I asked Dad the typical questions: ”What kind is it? Does it have a stick shift? Does it have a tape deck?“
”It's a 1982 Toyota,“ he replied. ”It's a four speed, and, yes, it has a tape deck . “ Pleased, I asked what color it was.
”Well, “ he said uncomfortably, ” which part?“
作为南卡罗莱那州克莱姆森大学的一个本科生，我囊中羞涩，当我父亲告诉我他为我买了辆车时，我甚是激动。我几乎控制不住我的热情，问了爸爸几个关键问题：“什么车?有没有手排挡?有没有磁带舱?”
“是1982年产丰田车，”他回答说，“四速，还有，是的，有磁带舱。”我甚是高兴，又问是什么颜色的。
“哦，”他很不舒服地说，“你指哪一部分?”
篇2：趣味英语：笑话
One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their nigh clothes. Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.
“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don’t think of money when they’re afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find.No one will be poorer because I took them.” “You don’t know my work，” said the other. “What is your work?” “I’m a policeman.
“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work?”“No，”said the policeman. “I’m a writer. I’m always telling stories about things that never happened.”
【译文】
你知道我是干什么的吗?
一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。 两个人站在外面，看着大火。
“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。” “你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。 “你是干什么的?”
“我是警察。”
“噢!”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道。”警察说。 “我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”
趣味英语：笑话三则之 Who is the laziest
Father:Well,Jack,I talked with your teacher today .And now I want to ask you a question ,Who is the laziest person inyour class ?
Jack:I don`t know ,father.
Father:Oh,think!When other boys and girls are reading and wirting ,who sits quietly and only watch how other people word?
Jack:Our teacher ,father.
【译文】
谁是最懒惰的
爸爸：杰克，我今天已经和你的老师谈过了，现在我想问你，谁是你们班上最懒的人?
杰克：我不知道，爸爸
爸爸：你再好好想想，当别的同学都在读书写字的时候，谁楞在那儿仅仅是看着其他人?
杰克：是我们的老师，爸爸
篇3：趣味英语：笑话
Young hopeful：“Father，what is a traitor in politics?”
Father(a veteran politician)：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one.”
Young hopeful：“Well then，what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours?”
Father：“A convert，my son.”
【译文】
什么叫叛徒?
有希望的青年人：“父亲，什么叫政治叛徒?”
父亲(一位老资格的'政治家)：“叛徒指的是离开我们党而加入到另一个党的人。”
有希望的青年人：“那么，离开他的党而加入到我们党的人又叫什么呢?”
父亲：“叫改变信仰者。我的儿子。”
篇4：趣味英语双语笑话
第一则：歌德的容忍
Goethe's Tolerance
Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him. Both of them stopped, staring at each other. Then the critic said.
”I will never make way for a fool.“
”But I will,“ with that Goethe retreated aside.
歌德的容忍
有一次，歌德在魏玛一个公园的小路上散步。那条小路很窄，偏偏遇上了一个对他心存敌意的评论家。他们都停下来看着对方。评论家开口了：
“我从来不会给一个傻瓜让路。”
“但我会。”说完，歌德退到一旁。
第二则：您的大衣着火了
Your Coat Is on Fire
The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them to count fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important.
The next day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lips moving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: ”Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Your coat is on fire, sir!“
您的大衣着火了
老师为了让学生记住先思考后发言，告诉他们在说出重要事情之前先数到50，如果是特别重要的事情，要先数到100。 第二天，当老师背靠着火炉讲课时，发现好几个学生的嘴唇在很快地不停地动。突然，全班学生一起喊道：“九十八，九十九，一百。老师，您的大衣着火了!”
第三则：我是司机
I am the Driver
The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn't let him aboard.
”It's too crowded,“ they shouted. ”What do you think you are?“
”I'm the driver,“ he said.
我是司机
一辆公共汽车已经相当拥挤，还有一个人想挤进来，乘客不让他上去。
“太挤了，”他们喊道，“你以为你是谁?”
“我是司机。”他回答说。
第四则：丑女
An Ugly Woman
Mike: My aunt was very embarrassed when she was asked to take off her mask at the party.
Mary: Why was that?
Mike: She wasn't wearing one.
丑女
麦克：一次舞会上，当大家要求我姑姑拿掉她的面具时，她非常尴尬。
玛丽：为什么会那样呢?
麦克：她根本就没有带面具。
第五则：巧合
Coincidence
A woman was singing. One of the guests turned to a man by his side and criticized the singer.
”What a terrible voice!“ he said. ”Do you know who she is?“
”Yes,“ was the answer. ”She is my wife.“
”Oh, I beg your pardon.“ The man said, ”Of course her voice is not bad, but the song is very bad. I wonder who wrote that awful song.“
”I did.“ was the answer.
巧合
一位女士正在唱歌。一位客人转身对他旁边的男士批评道：
“多难听的嗓音!”他说，“你知道她是谁吗?”
“知道，”男士回答，“她是我太太。”
“噢，请你原谅。”客人说，“当然，她的嗓音并不坏，但那歌实在太差了。我想知道那是谁写的歌。”
“是我。”男士回答道。
篇5：趣味英语小笑话
下面是关于父亲的趣味英语笑话两则，看看吧!
One
Poor Preacher
穷困潦倒的传教士
After the church service a little boy told the pastor, ”When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money.“
礼拜后男孩问牧师：“我长大后会给你一些钱。”
”Well, thank you,“ the pastor replied, ”but why?“
“好啊，谢谢你。”牧师回答道：“不过为什么?”
”Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had.“
“因为我爸爸说你是我们见过的最穷的传教士之一。”
Two
Setting the Table
摆桌子
Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped set the table when guests were due for dinner. Presently everything was on, the guest came in, and everyone sat down. Then Mother noticed something was missing.
小苏珊是妈妈的好帮手。她在有客人来家里就餐时帮忙摆桌子。现在一切准备就绪，客人走进，所有人都坐好了。妈妈突然发现缺了什么。
”Susan,“ she said, ”You didn't put a knife and fork at Mr. Smith's place.“
“苏珊。”她说道：“你忘了在史密斯先生那里放刀叉了。”
”I thought he wouldn't need them,“ explained Susan.
“我以为他不需要那些。”苏珊解释道。
”Daddy says he always eats like a horse!"
“爸爸说他总是吃得像马一样!”
★ 经典英语笑话
★ 趣味英语：绕口令
★ 趣味启蒙英语句子
★ 笑话！
★ 笑话大王
★ 经典哲理笑话精选
经典趣味英语笑话（共5篇）
